Tips on How to Last Longer in Bed
Posted on 15th May 2017 @ 9:03 AM
Stopping and starting, deep breathing and practice can help sex last longer
By: August McLaugnlin
Quickies can be fun, but not everyone wants sex to wrap up within minutes. Whether you tend to finish sooner than your partner or you could both use some slowing down, making efforts to last longer can create an intensified experience. Longer-lasting sex can make way for deeper arousal, powerful orgasms and greater intimacy.
Think Beyond the Big
Sex involves so much more than orgasm. Instead of seeing the Big O as the end goal, sex and relationship therapist Laura Berman recommends focusing on connection, pleasure and passion. Ask yourself what you can do to rock her world in bed. If you orgasm first, continue playing with her. Delight in her pleasure and help her reach climax with your mouth, hands and, if desired, a little bit of lubricant.
Breathing eases the mind and body, setting a more relaxed pace. Take slow, deep breaths for about 5 minutes before getting down and busy. This lowers your arc of arousal, delaying orgasm. To work breathing into sensual foreplay, face your partner and share breaths. Breathe in while she breathes out into your mouth, and vice versa – super sexy in itself.
Some steps toward lasting sex happen outside the bedroom. A healthy lifestyle helps keep blood flowing normally throughout your body – including to your penis during arousal. For stronger, lasting erections, eat a diet based on heart-healthy foods such as fruits, vegetables, fish and whole grains. Exercise regularly for improved circulation. Avoid smoking and excess alcohol, which can tank sexual performance.
Masturbation doesn't need to be a quick orgasm fix either. Berman suggests teaching yourself to last longer by self-stimulating more often. Each time, stop before you're about to come; calm down, then start again. You'll gradually learn more about your sexual responses and gain more control over when you release.
Stop and Start
Stopping and starting throughout sex can build enticement while delaying climax. When you feel you're close to coming, pause and let your body calm down. To amp up her pleasure meanwhile, get back to basics with simple kissing or touching. You can also give her a vibrating massage – or, better yet, take turns.
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