Guide for Great Phone Sex

Whether you’re in a long distance relationship, apart on a work trip, or simply haven’t seen each other in a few days, you and your partner may find yourselves wanting to have sex, but physically unable to do so. So, what can you do instead?

The answer may be phone sex, a spicy conversation about an imaginary encounter that you and your partner can both indulge in. Phone sex can happen on a phone call, via text message, or even on a video call. It can be a great way to build intimacy, practice vulnerability and, of course, experience pleasure. You may find that phone sex makes your relationship better than ever before.

Interested in exploring the magical world of phone sex? You’ve come to the right place. Read on for our ultimate guide to phone sex, including how to have phone sex and how to make it great.

Phone sex: what is phone sex and why people enjoy it

Phone sex is simply any type of sex that happens over the phone. While this was once simulated sex that happens via a phone call, in today’s world, phone sex can happen on the phone, over text, or even via video chat. Phone sex may include flirtatious conversation, spicy text messages, photos or videos, and more.

Partners have phone sex for so many reasons. For one, couples find that phone sex fulfills sexual needs even when they’re far apart. Long distance couples may find that phone sex keeps them connected during their times of separation. Moreover, phone sex fills intimate needs as well.

Phone sex creates closeness, builds open and honest communication, and improves trust. For many, phone communication takes the pressure off of conversations that may be uncomfortable to have in person.

Partners are able to openly share desires and fantasies via the phone that they may not feel as comfortable sharing face-to-face. Phone sex is a great way to learn more about your partner and their intimate needs.

How do you have phone sex?

As long as both adults are consenting to phone sex, there’s truly no right or wrong way to have it. Traditionally, during phone sex a couple simulates a sexual encounter. This may involve describing actions that they’re imagining doing or explaining what they’d like their partner to be doing. It may even simply involve listening to one another masturbate while on the phone.

Phone sex can happen over the phone or video chat. It also can happen over text messages, a practice that’s commonly known as “sexting.” Sexting may involve a single sexy message sent from one partner to another, a shared photo or video, or an ongoing conversation that simulates sex.

When it comes down to it, it’s up to you and your partner to decide what phone sex is for you. There’s no wrong way to do it, as long as it feels good.

Tips on what to say during phone sex

Looking to try phone sex for the first time? You may have questions about what to say during phone sex and how to have sex over the phone. These are our best tips for how to have phone sex:

Ask for consent: Just because phone sex is virtual doesn’t mean it can be nonconsensual. Before engaging in phone sex, ask your partner for their consent. You may find that this opens the door to important conversations about sex and intimacy. Consent should be asked for each time you engage in phone sex, even if you’ve done it before.
Go somewhere private: Unless consensual exhibitionism is a part of your sex life, you’ll want to be somewhere private before engaging in phone sex, especially if it’s a verbal conversation. The possibility that someone may overhear can leave you feeling inhibited or take you out of the mood. Wait until you’re both alone in your home before turning the conversation spicy. It may be best to schedule phone sex for a time when you’re both free and alone.
Start small: Especially if it’s your first time, it’s best to avoid jumping in the deep end. Start with a flirtatious text or compliment. If your partner is responsive, it may be time to take things a step further. These small steps can also serve as foreplay to a spicy conversation to get you both in the mood.
Remember that it may feel awkward: Any new and vulnerable conversation can be awkward at first, especially when it involves sex. Phone sex may have a few awkward moments, but don’t let that scare you off. It can be a great opportunity to practice vulnerability with one another.
Check in: As with any sexual activity, regular check-ins are a must when it comes to phone sex. Continue to check in on how you and your partner are each feeling. If it feels bad for anyone, stop. Phone sex should be a pleasurable experience.

How to make phone sex more enjoyable

Even the most experienced at phone sex can benefit from tips on how to have sex on the phone. Try these next time the conversation gets hot and heavy.

Set the mood: If you find that it’s difficult to stay present during phone sex, you may benefit from a little mood-setting. Dim the lights, light a candle or two, and put on some soft music. This can help you get into the right headspace and stay in it.
Incorporate erotica: Some partners find that watching the same porn video or reading the same erotica sets the stage for amazing phone sex. You can even read erotica aloud to your partner, or vice versa. Erotica can also improve your fluency in dirty talk and get you feeling more comfortable with sexy conversations. See whether these take your experience to the next level.
Explore fantasies: Is there a sexy scenario you’ve always fantasized about? This can be a good foray into phone sex. Describe the scenario to your partner so that you're both on the same page. Then, let your imaginations run wild.
Introduce sex toys: Sometimes, distance calls for something a little extra. Incorporating sex toys for phone sex can take your pleasure to the next level. Shopping for sex toys with one another can also be an exhilarating and sexy excursion.
Don’t be afraid of silence: Sometimes, simply listening to one another can be the sexiest experience of all. Don’t feel like you need to fill every moment of phone sex with words. Stop, listen, and react.

Exploring variations: facetime sex and more

The ease of video calls in today’s world has allowed couples to take their phone sex to the next level. Facetime, Skype, and other video-chatting applications add a visual element to sexy conversations and may be just the thing your relationship needs to maintain intimacy despite distance.

Interested in incorporating Facetime sex into your phone sex routine? Read on to learn how to have Facetime sex.

How to have facetime sex

Facetime sex is not all that different from phone sex. Many find that video increases their arousal and connection. To have Facetime sex:

Privacy is key: Privacy is of the utmost importance during Facetime sex, potentially more so than phone sex. The last thing you want is to accidentally expose your partner to an unknown party. Always have Facetime sex alone in a private space.
Find the right setup: Keeping a camera at the right angle can be hard when you’re caught up in the moment. If you can, try and figure out a way to have hands-free Facetime sex. While a tripod may be handy, it can also take you out of the right mindset. Even propping your phone up against another object can help you stay in view at all times.
Don’t feel like you have to perform: Just because you’re on video doesn’t make this a performance. Chances are, your partner knows when you’re acting natural and when you’re going overboard. Try to relax as much as possible.
Think about eye contact: One of the wonderful things about Facetime sex is that it allows you to be face-to-face with your partner, despite being miles away. Making direct eye contact with your partner can heighten pleasure for both of you.
Try not to get too self-conscious: Some may find themselves more conscious during Facetime sex because they’re on camera, too. Try not to focus on what you look like in the camera, if possible. Remember that your partner knows exactly what you look like from all angles.

What to say during facetime sex

Conversation during Facetime sex can be similar to phone sex. Explore fantasies, talk about desires, and compliment your partner. Plus, don’t be afraid of silence. Simply listening to your partner’s pleasure can be a pleasurable experience in itself.