What You Shouldn't Say on a First Date

Be mindful of what you say to secure a second date.

What You Shouldn't Say on a First Date

By: Zoe Wilder

First dates are filled with all kinds of pressure. What do you say? How will she take it? Should you kiss her? Stop and remind yourself how much fun it is to get to know someone new – sparks flying, heart racing, long gazes, flirtatious banter. While it's natural to stumble over your words from time to time, take an extra second to consider what you're about to say before it comes out of your mouth. You want your first impression to be stellar so you can cruise through to the second date.

"You seem nervous."

Of course your date is a little on edge – chances are, you're shaking in your boots a bit too. There's no need to point out the obvious. It will make your date feel insecure and create an awkward pause in conversation. Instead, think of ways to break the ice so you're both more at ease. Make a joke. Tell an interesting story. Pay your date a compliment. Order a round of shots. Or, simply admit you're nervous to clear the air.

"Do you date a lot?"

Questions like this and "How many people have you hooked up with?" should be avoided – they sound judgmental and nosy. The quickest way to end a first date is by overstepping a boundary. Don't pry too deeply. Save conversations about sex, condoms and past lovers for when you've gotten to know each other better. Instead, stay in the present and focus on the date at hand.

"I don't want a serious relationship."

Your date will start to question your motives when she hears this. She might wonder if you're just looking for a fling or think something is wrong with her. Don't fill her head with self-doubt. Steer clear of sweeping dismissive statements. You could be dining with the love of your life, but such statements can end the date before it even begins.

"My ex always used to say…"

No one wants to listen to you drone on about your ex, especially on a first date. It'll be boring, and your date may wonder if you're over that person. It's a good rule of thumb to never bring up your ex and to avoid talking about failed relationships from your past. The only time you can get away with mentioning your ex is if it's part of an amusing anecdote, and even then, bring her up sparingly.


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