Speak Up: How to Tell Your Partner What You Want in Bed

Make your bedroom fantasies come true.

By: Kat George

While you may already be satisfied with your sex life, exploring your fantasies can add an extra level of intensity to your relationship. Broaching those fantasies, however, can make you feel awkward and even a little vulnerable. Approach your desires with tact. Be patient, respectful and empathetic with your partner, and before long your bedroom will be the stage where your wildest fantasies come to life.

Talk About Your Desires Before Getting Into Bed

Tell your lady about your fantasies before you start getting hot and heavy. When you’re already between the sheets, announcing a new desire can be too abrupt, and really put her on the spot. Give her time to process the things you want. You’ll be able to articulate yourself better and more clearly when you’re not hot under the collar. If your partner is receptive to your suggestions, it will be a wonderful way to dirty talk your way to bed.

Ask What She Wants Too

The bedroom isn’t all about you. If you ask your partner to do something for you, you have to be willing to give her what she wants too. If she's shy, you can even make gentle suggestions, like using a sex toy in the bedroom. Who knows? You could wind up with an even hotter combination of two fantasies that you wouldn't have considered otherwise.

Don’t Be Unreasonable

Sometimes the cookie doesn’t crumble the way you wanted it to. Maybe your girl is uncomfortable with your bedroom ideas, or only willing to meet you half way. That’s okay! She’s entitled to her preferences just as much as you are, so be empathetic and respectful. No one wants sex to be a cause for anxiety, and the more patient and understanding you are, the more likely it is she’ll warm up to trying new things.

Create a Safe Environment

When you’ve spoken to your partner about your desires and you’ve come to a consensus about exploring new territory in the bedroom, make sure you have a safe environment. Let your partner know that if she feels uncomfortable at any time, you can stop and try again later. Check in with her along the way, and be sure to make her feel appreciated. Extra affection is a great way to make her feel sexy and improve the intimacy for both of you.


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