Six Tips for Talking Dirty

Up your sensual linguistics game

By: Zoe Wilder

Dirty talk, when done well, is one of the quickest ways to turn you and your partner on. In fact, building up sexual tension with the utterance of a well-chosen phrase can be the difference between good sex and an out-of-this-world experience. Still too shy to give it a try? These six suggestions will nudge you in the right direction.

Start Slow

Finding a balance between what sounds hot and what doesn't can be a little tricky. Don't feel pressured to jump in head first. Ask if your partner's ever engaged in an erotic tête-à-tête. Discover which phrases excite and which offend. Make mental notes. That way you'll know where to start when the occasion presents itself.

Use Not-So-Dirty Phrases, Too

Your mind may quickly jump to derogatory words. While some people enjoy them, others are insulted. You can talk dirty in a clean way and still get your point across. Compliments like "I love the way your body feels against my chest," and "Your lips are intoxicating" arouse your partner without the risk of insult.

Say Your Partner's Name

Next time you're lost in the heat of the moment, whisper your lover's name. It makes her feel special, increases her arousal and shows that you're engaged in the moment. That feeling of connection reinforces your chemistry and strengthens intimacy. Add eye-contact while you're saying it for bonus points.

Practice One-Word Commands

One of the biggest challenges you'll face is thinking of what to say without taking attention away from your lover and killing the mood. Rather than attempting elaborate phrases, use simple, one-word commands such as "Harder," "More," "Yes," and "Faster." Practice this technique you’ll and build confidence to add more words as you go.

Describe Your Actions

Some people assume talking dirty requires elaborate role play. While you're welcome to go there, all you really need to do is describe what you're going to do to your partner: "I'm going to pin you down on the bed," "I'm going to make you mine" or "I'm going to take my time." Be real – the sincerity will make your words that much hotter.

Ask for Feedback & Give Commands

"What do you want me to do to you?" or "How does this feel?" is a good place to start. When in doubt, ask your partner what she wants or tell her what you want. A command like "Grab me and put on a condom" will make her weak in the knees. Starting the dialogue can be awkward, but once you get past the first few lines, you're golden.


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