Posted on 15th May 2017 @ 9:03 AM
Not everything is better left unsaid: reveal a sexual fantasy.
Almost everyone has sexual fantasies of some description, from seeing a lover in stockings and suspenders to more complex scenarios with kinky accessories galore. While some sexual fantasies are best kept to yourself (group sex involving your partner's best friend...) sharing some of your more intimate desires can be a great way to bond with a partner.
Communicating your desires with your partner can take many forms: if you're too shy to talk face to face, exchanging saucy texts, chatting over the phone or instant messenger or sharing erotic materials can all broach the subject of a favorite sexual fantasy. Whichever method you choose, start with your mildest fantasies and work your way up based on your lover's reaction.
While a respectful lover shouldn't judge you for sharing your sexual fantasies, different people like different things and there's no guarantee you'll both want the same things. If a partner rejects an sexual fantasy, don't blame them or sulk: instead, see if there's any middle ground — or consider trading fantasies: I'll do yours if you do mine.
If you decide to live out your sexual fantasy, make sure you're familiar with any safety guidelines, and consider the potential emotional as well as physical effects. With some sexual fantasies, you may decide to use them to inspire talking dirty but leave it at that.
"Start with your mildest fantasies and work your way up based on your lover's reaction."
Also, consider your partner's reaction. Just because they're willing to try something, it doesn't mean they'll necessarily enjoy it: don't let your arousal make you selfish and override your lover's desires in favor of your own. Conversely, don't feel obliged to say yes to something you don't really want to do. It's better to be honest — without being disrespectful or judgmental — than ignore your own needs.
Living out sexual fantasies can be fun but if things don't go to plan (or even if they do, sometimes) you may find the power of the fantasy fades in the light of reality. Think about whether you're willing to risk losing a sure fire arousal builder for the chance to make your dreams come true.
If you decide you still want to make your sexual fantasy come true, take it slowly and check your partner's reaction throughout. Stop if you see they're not into what you're doing — and don't leave your sense of humor at the bedroom door. Relax, communicate clearly and be honest and who knows, you could add a whole new dimension to your sex life.