By Amanda Green
Food and sex have a lot in common — they're sensual, nourishing, and have the potential for great variety. One of the easiest, most delicious ways to rev up your sex life is to add some edible ingredients. In fact, "foodplay" is especially suited to long-term relationships.
"One of the benefits of being in a committed relationship is that you and your partner have the opportunity to 'sexplore' each other," says YourTango Expert Paul Carrick Brunson, a matchmaker and life coach. You and your partner already know each other's tastes and preferences, and how to communicate what you do and don't like. Novel situations — especially a new approach to a familiar act — can keep your bond strong.
Like sex, food is associated with both biological needs and mental and emotional urges. Eating doesn't just keep us alive; it feels good. "There's an aggression to eating, a sexiness to licking your fingers and using your hands," says YourTango Expert Pamela Madsen, a sex and intimacy coach and founder of the Back to the Body sensuous retreat for women. "We get so removed from the sensuality of our everyday lives, not just in sex but in food. But food can be a seduction. There's power in using food as a sexual metaphor."
So how do you get started? Obviously, you don't want to use any foods that trigger an allergy or aversion. But there are a few other things to consider. Here are seven more tips for bringing food into the bedroom.
1) Keep it sweet and light
Whether using food on the tongue or body (more on this later) food foreplay is an appetizer, but sex is the meal. So hold the savory and spicy (which can burn skin or eyes), and stick to sweets for your sweet. If you're into healthier sweets, try pieces of fresh seasonal fruit, like cherries, strawberries or mango slices. If you're more of a candy craver, play with ice cream toppings, like caramel sauce or marshmallow creme. Or go crazy and combine the two! You can gently handfeed each other or use each other's bodies as plates.
Just remember that a little goes a long way. Eating too much before getting intimate will only make you and your partner feel sluggish, give you a sugar crash later, and may even lead to ahem, motion sickness. Besides, if your partner's hungry enough to ask for seconds, you two should probably eat lunch first.
2) Keep food away from your private parts
Private parts and food don't mix for various reasons, including possible infections, skin irritation, and let's be real, sticky pubic hair. If you’re using plain ice, feel free to explore all over. Otherwise, the safest way to stimulate your partner is to keep all the food action above the waist. But don't worry: there are plenty of erogenous safe zones.
3) Engage all your senses
Bringing food into the bedroom engages the senses and we don't just mean taste. Use foods that smell and feel good on bare skin. (Sorry, stinky cheese lovers. Save that for a real meal!) To keep things hot, try foods you can heat up, like chocolate or honey. Or you can go the opposite direction with popsicles, frozen grapes, or just plain ice. Play around with these items, hot and cold alike, running them over sensitive zones like the neck, earlobes, nipples and lips.
At the same time, don't forget to use your hands to stroke, caress, and massage your partner, especially below the waist, where food is off-limits.
4) Get creative with your mouth
Good oral sex is about varying the amount of pressure and speed with your tongue and mouth. Good foodplay works the same way. Instead of simply licking food off part of your partner's body, try sucking cream off his finger or gently nibbling honey off his body. (Yes, getting toothy's okay, as long as your partner likes it.) Or start with simple lip touches and work your way toward completely enveloping skin in your warm mouth.
5) Come prepared
You wouldn't go to a picnic without napkins, but you wouldn't take your 10,000 thread count sheets either. So don't forget to pack some appropriate gear for your naked picnic. Lay down towels or sheets that you don't mind getting dirty. Bring napkins, or even better baby wipes, for clean-up. Using tools, like a drizzle bottle for chocolate and honey, can make foodplay a little tidier and keep your hands clean. Ideally, licking fingers (or other parts) clean will suffice before you get busy. And don't forget to keep the usual sexy stuff — condoms, lube, and any toys — nearby.
6) Have fun
"Play" is a key component of "foreplay." Be creative in the way you use food with your partner. Tease each other with little bites. Dribble honey onto each other and slowly lick it off. Share a lollipop. Make a whipped cream bikini with cherry nipples on top a la Varsity Blues and make him beg for a taste. And don't be afraid to laugh at each other. You might be surprised at how something that starts off silly can end up sexy.
7) Clean each other off afterwards
You set the table and devoured your partner. Now don't forget to wash up! Gather any plates, utensils, leftovers and food-splattered clothing or bedding, so you don't have a big mess to worry about later. Then hit the shower and help your partner clean those hard-to-reach spots. Who knows? It may even lead to round two. Dessert, anyone?
In partnership with YourTango