Learn Sexual Boundaries

Know each other's limits.

Learn Sexual Boundaries

Great sex isn't about agreeing to everything your partner wants — knowing your own sexual boundaries and being clear about them is vitally important. Different people like different things and there's no right or wrong: it's about finding things that you enjoy together.

Never do anything that you don't want to do — it doesn't make you a prude or a bad lover. It just means you're confident enough to be honest about your personal sexual boundaries. If a partner judges you for saying no, they may not have your best interests at heart. Finding a way to please your partner while staying comfortable will ensure the best outcome for both of you.  

"Finding a way to please your partner while staying comfortable will ensure the best outcome for both of you."

Women often take longer to come than men do. You might be tempted to fake it or forget your own pleasure but this can lead to resentment and loss of libido — and make your partner feel insecure too. The easiest way to help your partner make you come is to demonstrate: masturbate like you do when you're alone. If you feel shy, you may find it easier if it's mutual, so you can learn about your partner at the same time.

You can also take matters into your own hands. Everyone has responsibility for his or her own orgasm (though a good lover cares about his or her partner's pleasure) and touching yourself or using a toy together can help you both get off. Sexual boundaries and preferences are complex, but clear communication will help you find a good balance and keep you both satisfied.

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